Hello, again! I just want to say really quickly how much I
appreciate you kind folks for indulging me and reading my posts.
Now for the topic of the day—traveling alone. Daunting to
many, luxurious to some, but somehow still stigmatic to others. I thought I’d
write just one post on what I’ve learned from my solo travels, but then I
realized I’d need to address the stigma first, because unless that’s out of the
way, some people won’t actually read anything else. When I write about the joy
of waking up whenever I want, wandering to whatever café I want for coffee and
pastries and planning my adventures for the day, they’ll just think, “But it’s
so sad, so pathetic, to travel by yourself. I could never do that.” It’s not!
It’s totally not! And you totally could!
So this will be a two-part post, starting with the negative
impressions. From what I can gather, the stigma of traveling alone mostly comes
from a sense of shame, based on imagined reactions from other people. Shame at
telling your friends or family or coworkers that you couldn’t find someone to
go on a trip with you. Or that it means (or that people will think it means) you
don’t have someone special in your life to share the experience with. That
traveling alone somehow equates to being a lonely person, someone adrift
without loved ones.
I think it’s an extension of the shame that keeps some
people from going to the movies or dinner alone. But going to the movies alone is one of life’s great joys! And
in general I completely disagree with the premise that a person alone is
necessarily a lonely person. There are a bajillion reasons for someone to be
out in the world, doing exciting or fun or mundane things alone, none of which
have to stem from a lack of people to do those things with.
Some people want to take trips that their friends and family
have no interest in. Sure, maybe they could guilt a best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend into coming along, but then they’re stuck with a downer of a travel buddy. Much
better to not compromise on an adventure that is keeping you awake at night
with excitement than to bring someone along who will grump about it the whole
time, just to avoid a perceived societal stigma.
Some people make more money than their friends, but not so
much more that they can pay for two people to take a trip. So they choose to go
somewhere they’ve always wanted to go, on their own. I think it is much, much
sadder to not do something you’ve always wanted to do because you’re afraid of
what people will think, than to be a big girl or boy and live your life on the
terms that suit you.
And then other people simply want to take a trip by themselves,
for countless reasons. Maybe they want to relax and clear their minds. Maybe they
want to go somewhere that feels special and private. Or maybe they want to push
their boundaries and see if they can make it alone in a city where no one speaks
their language. For some people, traveling alone is challenge enough and they
want to prove to themselves that they can do it. And why not?
In general, I think it can be very dangerous to make your
decisions based on how you fear other people will interpret them. If flying
solo sounds worthwhile to you, why hold yourself back because of what you think
someone might say? You’re probably just being paranoid anyway! Folks have their own lives to deal with; they don’t have time to judge you.
So go live by your own (kind, thoughtful) rules.
I’ll write a follow-up post about all the fun I’ve had and
lessons I’ve learned traveling by myself, so stay tuned. :-)
