Sunday, April 13, 2014

Picking a good travel buddy














This is me and one of my best friends, Michele. In the 15 or so years that we’ve been friends, we’ve taken many trips together: Las Vegas, London and Amsterdam, Yellowstone, and a road trip to Mexico, to name a few. This August we’ll be heading to South America to hike the Inca Trail and check out penguins in the Galapagos. I have a few other tried-and-true, go-to travel buddies, and I started thinking about what makes some people work well together on trips, and what makes me think “never again” about others.

With me and Michele, the biggest commonality is probably that we’re both pretty laid back about how we like to plan and take trips, her even more so than me. She lives in Los Angeles and I’m in Austin, so we’ve done almost all of our planning, booking, and confirming for South America via email and text. We took turns booking shared flights, hotels, and excursions, and kept a running tally of who paid what; we ended up pretty darn close, too, considering the expense and detail of this trip. Everything is booked now and I only owe her $113 (it’s coming, Mish, I promise. PayPal, man).

And now that we have the big pieces in place, we’re both leisurely perusing the details—good places to eat in Lima, places to see in Cusco while we acclimate to the altitude, any must-see markets in Quito, that sort of thing. Over the next few months we’ll each come up with our own lists of what we want to do, probably with a lot of overlap, and then just do whatever sounds best when we land. Super easy with no drama.

It also helps that we both just kind of roll with the randomness that pops up when we’re traveling. I remember when we were walking down a street in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, and saw a Jeep drive by with three or four guys standing up in the back, holding menacingly large guns. We looked at each other and said, “So we’ll go into the next bar and sit for awhile?” “Yep, sounds good.” We ducked into the first place we came to, walked up to the bar and ordered our Dos Equis from a rather bemused bartender, and turned around to take in the place. My eyes surveyed the room and I realized it was full of men, all of whom were staring at us. Michele, meanwhile, had looked at one of the many TVs around the bar and nudged me. “Look up.” I did … and realized all the TVs were showing porn. Then we both noticed the few women scattered around the edges of the room, scantily dressed, looking bored, and ignoring us, unlike the men. And then we saw the door that led who knows where covered with a curtain. And a man walking behind the curtain with one of the bored women. Without a word we slowly, oh-so-casually, like we totally knew what we were doing, walked back toward the door, chugging our beers (we were 21 at the time and had priorities). One of us said, “So … we’ll go in the next restaurant we find and sit for awhile?” “Yep, sounds good.” And that’s how we found an adorable courtyard restaurant in Nuevo Laredo with delicious chips and salsa and margaritas.

While this story might not say much for our situational awareness or sense of danger, rest assured that we’ve both gotten much better about these sorts of things in the last decade. Michele even looked up the travel advisories for Peru and Ecuador, and we now know to be very cautious with all of our cabs. Progress! But my point is, in my experience, some people tend to have anxious reactions when things go awry, and others are more able to pragmatically react without exacerbating the situation. For my style of traveling, the latter is clearly a better fit. Because even now that we’re more mature and cautious (and know to assess potential porn bars/brothels before ordering beer), things will go wrong on our trip. That’s inevitable on any adventure. Picking a travel partner whom I know I can rely on to keep a level head in those situations is the only part of it I can control.

After all this rambling, maybe it’s time for a list. Here are some factors that I like to consider when picking a travel buddy:
1.     Does this person agree with the type of trip I want to take? Examples include:
a.     Staying in cheaper hotels to extend the trip versus having a shorter, more indulgent vacation
b.     Taking a relaxing vacation with lots of sitting, eating, and drinking versus mixing in more active, outdoorsy fun
c.      Mapping out a strict itinerary versus leaving chunks of time open to explore whatever comes up
2.     What traits about this person bug me under normal circumstances and can I handle them when they’re magnified under the pressure of travel?
3.     What traits about me bother people under normal circumstances and can my potential travel buddy handle them when they’re magnified under the pressure of travel?
4.     Will I get stuck with all the planning and organizing?
5.     Will this person over-plan and over-organize so much that it takes the fun out of the trip?
6.     How does this person react in stressful situations? Do I trust him or her to help when things go wrong?
7.     Are we both stubborn about getting our way or can we compromise so everyone gets to do what matters most to them?
8.     Is he or she slovenly to the point that I wouldn’t want to share a bathroom with them? (It sounds extreme but, trust me, it can be an issue.)
9.     Do they have an appropriate sense of the world around them to not get me in trouble? Will I spend the trip babysitting?
10. Is this person comfortable with splitting up and seeing different things separately? Am I comfortable with that?

I could go on and on, but I think these questions cover the largest concerns about traveling with someone. And don’t forget, travel buddies are optional! Some of my favorite experiences have come from traveling by myself. Watch for a post on that soon. :)

I’d love to hear some of your thoughts on travel buddies. What wisdom have you gleaned along the way? Do you have go-to partners in crime or horror stories of someone you’ll never travel with again?

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